I had a conversation which kept me up writing last night. Here is an edited version.

There is no one so powerful as an isolated teacher of religion. Even if they don't think of it as religion, but that is what it is. It is a belief systems. Their beliefs control people. Nothing in the world is as powerful as that. I can't let just anyone control me. All sorts of people will offer to teach me a million life changing belief structures. How can I choose between them? Who would I trust? Why would I let one person shape me--one, out of a million--control my inmost thoughts?

If you are my friend, I would give you that power. That is the only reason I ever would. I only give my friends the power to determine the course of my life. I give them a voice in shaping my conscience. When they say, "I am gay. I love God. I think He loves me." I say, I know you. I love you. I know I want my God to love you. I know you are my friend, and you do not normally tell lies. I do not assume about my friends that they have told a lie when I have no proof. When you tell me you experience God's love, then I trust your experience. I add it to my worldview. Maybe it is uncomfortable. Maybe it means I have to rearrange the furniture in my spiritual house. But you are my friend, and you are welcome. I will make a space for you to fit. You will shape my worldview, because you are in my world.

My friends tell me about the world and about religions that are found in it. When I think about religion, I think of several friends who had siblings abused by their youth pastor. I think of terrified little kids who were spanked for their sanctification. I think of missionaries who left their families to do God's work. I think that I don't like that kind of religion. I don't like it at all.

But I also think of other friends. When I think of prophecy, I think of friends who have prophesied. When I think of visions, I think of visions my friends have seen. I think of the Spirit as one who has been among us, among me and my friends when we were laughing or maybe crying together. I know God. He is one of my friends. He too shapes my worldview because He too shapes my world.

I will only trust what you say about God, if He has been in the room with me at the same time as with you. If we've had a conversation with Him together, then I know that you know Him. I know we are talking about the same God, though we might have very different relationships. But if we've never met with Him together, then I can never be quite sure. Perhaps our conversations have had similar scripts, but I can't know we have have a similar God.

I know a Spirit who is alive and dangerous. He sometimes hurts me. Sometimes He leaves me alone for much longer than I asked for. My God sometimes lets things happen that He doesn't want. Sometimes silly things I ask for and shouldn't have. Sometimes really terrible things, like missionaries who abuse kids. Yes, I know. It's happened close to me. It's happened to me. Don't try to prove from the Bible that God had a reason for it. He didn't. He hated it. My God sometimes hates things.

My God is a picky God. You have to act the way He likes around Him, and He's everywhere. You have to be nice to old people around Him, and you have to be nice to little animals too. Actually, I am picky about how my friends act to old people too. My friends are like parts of me. I care about how they act. God is also picky about other things being done His way, like He wants you to use water and food and wine to remember Him by. Most of my friends like to be remembered. They like you to keep in touch. My God is the same way, because my God is my friend.

My God is cryptic, persnickety and moody. He's also funny. He likes to pull pranks and make puns. He likes people who have the courage to fight with him. That's why we get along. We're always fighting. It's our relationship.

I always tell Him things that need fixing. Sometimes He tells me its my job. I say its too big and He is the cosmic fixer. We fight about that. I yell at Him when He lets bad things happen to people I like. I yell at Him when His people do things to me that I don't like. Yelling is one way we talk. Sometimes, I yell myself out, then I have a good cry, grab a cup of hot chocolate and watch a movie. When the movie is done, I slip out to the balcony. "Oh God," I say, "the stars are beautiful." And He grabs a cup of hot chocolate and sits out there watching the night sky with me.